Monday, 18 January 2010

Missing Chocolate

I was reminded of this tragic situation after a recent Pegg / Frost movie night.   Sean of the Dead and Hot Fuzz both have Cornetto scenes and I'm looking forward to more Cornetto action in their next movie.

Everyone knows that the best bit of a Cornetto is the solid chocolate bit at the bottom of the cone.  But all too often you'll find this excess of chocolate cone lining missing.

Damn you Cornetto producers and your increasingly efficient manufacturing process, damn you all to hell.

Saturday, 16 January 2010

Extended Warranties

... or, most importantly, Extended Warranty sales people who attempt to sell you extended warranties on electrical products even though they have absolutely no idea how likely the 'domesday' scenarios they describe are to happen!

Once, a (very) spotty, (very) young man once tried to sell me an "additional" warranty on a 42" TV - starting from the moment of purchase - because "standard" warranties don't cover all eventualities. The eventuality he quoted was in case it "fell down the stairs" and no longer worked. I had stressed at the time that this would probably be covered under house insurance - and how fecking likely it was that it was going to "fall down the stairs" in the first place, but I digress....

Today's ire stems from a Teenie weekend working Curry's imbecile, patrolling the washing machine section of the store. She annoyed immediately by indicating that delivery was £9.99 for 'anytime' delivery - or £34.99 for deliver, unpack, install and remove old (etc etc) - but that couldn't be done until Thursday. OR, we could pay for 'next day' (at £19.99) - which allowed us to 'choose' which day we wanted. (Incidentally, asking if they'd install it as well on a next day she said "No, you have to pay £34.99 for that". Naturally presuming 'next day' meant that this could be delivered tomorrow (ie Sunday) - Me: "Oh, we can get it tomorrow, great!" - she informed us that actually the earliest they could do the 'next day' delivery would be .... yes, you guessed... Thursday. Anyhow, another digression.... ahem, get on with it...

Then came the extended warranty question - which, being expert grumpy shoppers, said that we weren't interested as we NEVER TAKE OUT EXTENDED WARRANTIES. You'd think that would do it - but no, we got a lecture on the 'particularly hard water' in this area and you really ought to think about it.... we even got a little leaflet explaining the how damaging hard water is. Just feck off and leave us alone... oik.

So, which'll go quicker - the shoddy far eastern electronics or the build up of limescale from the 'hard water'? I'll get some Calgon just in case, but jeez....

Monday, 11 January 2010

Junk Mailers

How much do I enjoy picking up the pile of take away menus, taxi business cards, clothing collection requests, estate agent flyers and free local papers from my doormat every day?  Not very much.

Stop pushing crap through my letter box!  They could at least shut the garden gate on the way out!  Bastards.

Monday, 4 January 2010


People who buy suits or coats and leave those little labels on one sleeve with the designer name on it. Show off nobs.