Tuesday, 22 December 2009


Right. A site dedicated to moaning. Where shall I start? Ok - Supermarket Eco-Bandwagon jumping - and, most importantly, the persecution of innocent shoppers like me - who, after filling up an enormous trolley of food, packaged in all manner of non-bio-degradable containers - mostly air filled - are presented with a 'till' completely devoid of any shopping bags whatsoever to carry items home with.

It is apparently their policy to NOT have any on display, preferring said punter having to 'ask' for some bags. 'Asking' (read, pleading) for some bags to carry the shopping, usually consisting - may I remind you - of a very large trolley, including many bottles of wine, tins etc - results in frustrated tutting and a reluctant supply of THREE bags. THREE fupping bags. You fill your three bags and ask for some more. They give you another three.... and so on, and so on - even though your shopping stretches across their conveyor like the skyline of manhattan...

Never has 'can I have some more bags please' seemed more wrong, frowned upon and ultimately embarrassing. The next time I ask for them, I'll also ask for a bag of crack, a couple of editions of 'Razzle' - and Gary Glitter's greatest hits - I wonder which'll get more of a response?

It wouldn't be so bad however the bags withstand approximately 37 seconds of actual use - rendering a box of cornflakes as severely violent as razor-wire when introduced to the bag - which surely must be made of gnat's bumfluff and the fluffy bits off of those flowers that aren't Dandelions. They've deliberately made them 'thinner' I'm sure.... can you remember those old bags from 'Mace' or 'VG' when you were kids? Christ, you could go sledging in them....

Now, I'm as eco-concious as the next man - and have a strong desire to hand the planet down to future generations in relatively good nick - but this bag thing has really got to me. Luckily they only have to last across the car-park into the back of my 4x4, and subsequently 'round the corner' to my house - god help all of those poor saps who have to walk home with them...


Bl00dy leave me alone, you freaks!!!!!


Charity muggers.   Raising funds for charities I either already support or don't want to support, forcing me to avoid them (they usually work in gangs) or 'politely' turn them down.  Get a proper job, c*nts.

Click Click Click

People who don't turn their tones or noises off when writing a text message or scrolling through their emails - they f*king annoy me. F*kers

Monday, 21 December 2009

Ho Ho Ho

Shops that start selling "Christmas" on November 10th so that everyone is pi$$ed off with it by the beginning of December and ready to kill by now... WHY?????

Hate them

People who don't say thank you when you hold a door open for them or move over to one side to let them pass. Utter b@$t@rd$

Bags on Seats

Selfish gits on commuter trains that put their bags and coats on the seat next to them in the hope that they wont have to sit next to a stranger.

When I see this sh*t, I ask them to move it - even if there are plenty of other empty seats. "Oh I'm sorry, would you like to sit there?" they bleat innocently. Then they have to sit next to me as punishment. W*nkers.

And another thing

People who check their BlackBerries/phones as soon as they get in a lift - even though they've just left their desk. Tw*ts!!!

Oooh! That annoys me

Short people with big umbrellas that have no idea they are going to have someone's eye out.. Dicks.